Today, I can breath a sigh of relief (ahhhhhh!) feels good 🙂 I completed a course for the Air Force and today, I passed a test that I have spent the last 3 months studying for. Three months to study for a test seems reasonable, but most people get a year to complete the course and take the test. As much as I love being in the military, sometimes it can be completely unorganized and so up in the air. Somehow my training records got screwed up and I had to file an extension to get them completed. The pressure was definitely on, but I got through it.
One big personality trait about me is that I’m a planner, almost to a fault. I have a daily to-do list (sometimes even on the weekends), I plan out my workouts for the week, my meals, I feel lost at the grocery store without a list, I love taking trips just because I get to research and plan an itinerary, and I received lots of comments about how organized and detailed our wedding was. Like I said, almost to a fault. I thought the military would help with my type A personality, but I don’t think that it has. (Every day, I amaze myself that I’m completely okay and even excited with not finding out the sex of our baby.)
If I’ve learned anything so far with being pregnant, is that some things are out of my control and that I can’t plan for every moment of my life. And that’s okay. Some of life’s greatest moments are unplanned 🙂 LC and I are over the moon about this baby. We’re excited and our families and friends are just so happy for us. But the past few months have been very stressful for me and I’ve been doing everything I can to reduce that because I know that stress can effect the baby. Lesson learned? My body is no longer my own, it belongs to the beautiful baby that is growing inside of me. Food, workouts, lifestyle all revolve around my baby and his/her best interest.
Last night I was crying (a pretty usual occurrence over here in the 2nd trimester) to my parents about how overwhelmed I was. The Air Force test, the job, a possible 2-3 week deployment for my husband, where are we going to live, should we cancel our bradley method classes if LC is going to miss a few, where am I going to have this baby…blah blah blah. My parents basically told me that I’m getting ahead of myself and that I need to calm down. They told me to take it one day at a time and maybe some days, one hour at a time. Advice I’ve heard before but never really followed, it’s just not how my brain works. But my step-dad put it into to terms that made a bit more sense to me. All these things I am worried about are hurdles and you can’t jump hurdles all at once. It’s impossible to do. He told me to take it one hurdle at a time and I’d eventually make it over all of them.
My mom advised me to stop worrying about things that I cannot control and to step out of the negative frame of mind I was currently in and focus on the fact that I am pregnant with my first baby, something that only happens once in a lifetime and to realized what a gift it truly is. As happy as I am about being a mom, I never thought of it that way. So today, I started singing to the baby again and spending some quiet time today just focusing on my pregnancy. For a few minutes, I sit back with my eyes closed and my hand on growing belly and think about what the baby will look like, if it’s a boy/girl, and I think about what kind of mother I want to be.
From today on, I’m trying to focus on taking it one hurdle at a time and to step back and enjoy the moment now instead of worrying about the future. I’ve also learned that you’re never too old to take your parents advice 🙂